"what a wonderful world" was always a special song, but one christmas almost 20 years ago was the night i felt it all the way to my bones. it was elizabeth's first christmas and we had come to tennessee to introduce her to my family. jim and i were still in our haze of wonder - our dream-like bubble - the only two people in the universe who had ever experienced birth and parenthood and never tired of gazing into the face of our baby daughter. we were gathered at kathy and paul's for dinner, the whole family together, even mema and troy and linda. we filled the house - spreading from the kitchen past the dining table into the big open family room. elizabeth was in her little red velvet christmas dress with white tights and red velvet shoes - a tiny ruffled headband around her fuzzy head. the world seemed to be swirling around us as the center as she was welcomed and we were bathed in love. my ears tuned in to the words of louis armstrong coming from the stereo and i think i knew this moment in time was special - a moment i needed to remember. perhaps because it was christmas and we were all together in joy, but for whatever reason the words of the song resonated in our souls and stayed there. jim scooped elizabeth into his arms and danced through the room until the song was done - each of us in turn stopping in mid action to watch. most of us were smiling but linda's eyes brimmed with tears for what had not been as loving a life for herself and her children. the song ended and kathy took the custard pies from the china cabinet - mom helped in the kitchen and kathy's boys joined the ever present crowd to talk away the night - this special night when we had momentarily stepped away from ourselves and observed our blessings from the outside. later jim told me what he thought about as he danced with his two-month old daughter on her first christmas - he knew some day he would dance to the same song with his grown-up daughter at her wedding. even then with parenthood fresh and new - first steps and first words, learning to ride a bike, the first day of kindergarten in front of us - we realized this precious gift of our child's life in our care and we have never taken it for granted with either of our children.

as i have heard the song through the years, my reaction has always gone deep - made me nostalgic for the days when everything wonderful was still in front of us. i recently heard the story of the real inspiration for the song - a daddy coming home from war to reunite with his young daughter - all of life beautiful and full of wonder because he has come home. i have no doubt jim and elizabeth will dance to "what a wonderful world" at her wedding when she is glowing with all the world of love and family and possibility ahead of her. jim will cry and i will watch from the side with tears pouring down my cheeks - tears of pride, tears of joy for her bright future, tears of longing to do it all again in slow motion holding on as long as i can.