i don't know how to get out of my box.

careful conditioning keeps me tucked quietly inside

even as i ache for what is beyond these walls.

my box is safe.

i know how to live in it and keep it clean

how close i can go without bumping into the sides

how much air i am allowed to breathe to remain alive

but my head is crashing into the top

and sometimes i catch a glimpse of a bewitching bright star

or goldfinches fly over with joyful lilting songs

and i want out -

want to bask in the wide open light of day

drink in the sweet damp mystery of night.

i have to get out -

have to kick and elbow and expand larger than the four walls

so they break away like the shell of a hatchling

or a snakeskin shed and thrown away.

i need liberation

room to grow mammoth wings

and fly through the cloudless blue summer sky

long and lean and infinite on the orange horizon

loose and weightless - floating on the breath of fate.

i am afraid to create a brave new self

and surrender the place i hide

from the unblinking gaze of reality.

they said beware the danger lurking 'out there'

like a vampire waiting to suck the life blood from my veins,

but the ugliest evil is where life blood is gone

where dry sand and cold dirt pump the heart

just enough to stay alive

but paralyzed with numbness.

the danger 'out there' calls my name

beguiles with the juice and muck and mire

of love and passion

bits of earth under my fingernails

bee stings from dipping my nose deep into honeysuckle blossoms.

i don't want to be the cat locked in the cage

for safety

as it cries with longing at the window

to step into the wet dew of daybreak

chase a mouse through lovely tall grass

sit among red and golden leaves

fluttering to the ground as a new season brings a chill to the air.

i don't want a safe empty life inside a tidy box

never tasting

freedom

fear joy longing heartache

or the release of stepping from a cliff

falling through air

plunging deep and whole into cool turquoise water -

rising to the surface for a gasp of pure sweet air

and clear eyes that see only open space

without walls.