someone told me once to write about the person you admire most - don't think about it - just write. the first word that poured from my pen was daddy.

he isn't perfect - never was - never will be - but he has never stopped trying. the words i remember most as i went through the agonizing pains of growing up were, "bokey, there's no use in looking back - there's no point in regret. you just have to decide and then go on. if you don't you'll just spend your life wishing for what didn't happen." those weren't empty words from a parent to a child - they were the words he lived by -

his mantra for each day of his life.

he had grown up poor and at christmastime his stocking was filled only with apples and oranges and nuts - so when i was a little girl the giant bowl of fruit and nuts wasn't a holiday decoration, it was a celebration of the childhood he survived and lived to tell about. he was the oldest child - often pushed aside for the younger ones - the work of a man placed on his little boy shoulders. when he married mom at seventeen he worked hard at the gas station - then the shirt factory - never once failing to provide for his four little blond-headed children. he moved us all to jackson to work for a better life where we grew up and he worked twelve hour days at truex chevrolet to make sure we could eat and have a home. he never failed to take a break to come home for supper to share the lively dinner table with his adoring kids in homespun clothes and his young pretty wife. he usually lost several pounds in the summertime from the sweltering body shop but he was grateful for his work. when he came home from the shop and didn't go back after supper the garden called to us, so he would take me by the hand to walk in the soft dirt searching for a ripe red tomato or a strong dimpled bell pepper to eat on the spot. my feet were so dirty from walking in the garden that my bedtime routine included brushing my teeth, changing into soft flowered shorty pajamas and scrubbing my feet.

daddy has always been the strong humble hard working man with scraped calloused hands who could find a gentle wise word to calm the wildest of beasts. he still has that gentleness, but too much quiet these days. his life has always been given to his family - his purpose defined by the work of his hands. he left truex to buy his own body shop - a big one where his customers could still trust a handshake and no one ever sued because daddy's work ethic demanded much more than anyone would ever ask. when i was in high school he went to classes to earn his ged and he was prouder of his diploma than some would be of a summa cum laude college degree. we were proud too. it took a lot of courage to do the things daddy did. his own family had all but disowned him when he moved away to make life better for his family. he has always suffered silently for that, but as he said to me, there's no reason to look back, you'll just spend your life wishing for what didn't happen.

i live by that philosophy just as daddy taught me. it has given me the courage to live with conviction and unwavering strength. daddy has taught me so much about facing life as it comes with kindness and humility. he is truly a noble man of honor and goodness and i am so grateful to call him my dad.

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thank you daddy - i love you